Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Breaking News 2005.07.05

This just in...

Satanic Tool Destroyed by Wrath Of God

Heathen scientists today sent a Satanic device into the outer reaches of the Lord's mysteries in an attempt to further confound the unwary and tempt them toward godlessness.

The Lord smote the device, brightening the heavens with his wrath. It is unknown whether any of the scientists survived, however experts consider the possibility unlikely. Speculation late Tuesday was that the device was a vain and foolhardy attempt to breach the Veil of Heaven. While the ultimate motives of the scientists remain unclear, the sinful nature of their act is not in doubt.

"These heretics were trying to goad the Lord into revealing what He was doing before He created the heavens and the earth," said one highly-placed church official who was monitoring the blasphemous project. "I could have told them what He was doing - He was preparing Hell for those who pry into mysteries!"

Full Story...

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