Tuesday, February 07, 2006

More News from the Firmament...

Another astronomy story that didn't get much mainstream press coverage.

NASA: "This one moon totally wailed into this other moon"

A small moon "totally wailed into" a larger moon in the Vega star system, according to NASA scientists. Despite the fact that both moons were airless, rocky bodies, the smaller moon "definitely f---ed up the bigger moon's sh-t" according to officials at the agency.

"This big-ass rocky moon was just cruising through the Vega system, totally minding it's own business," said Gregory "Dreads" Takahashi, an astronomer affiliated with the agency. "When all of a sudden - BAM!" Takahashi slapped the back of his fist into his palm to illustrate the celestial impact. "This littler moon comes up and just wails into the big one. Next thing I know, the two of them are rolling all over the Vega system, kicking up dust, totally f---ing each other up. I was like, whoa, what's up with that?"

Other scientists at the agency were similarly impressed. One characterized the impact as "bizarro and just like, totally out of nowhere" while another claimed it was "freakin' awesome."

Not all were surprised by the collision however. Astrophysicist Slater Wallace speculated that "the big moon was probably trying to get over on some of the little moon's asteroids or something and probably had it coming" while theoretical physicist Ng Lee observed that the collision was "entirely in keeping with Newtonian and Keplerian laws of planetary motion."

Read all about it...


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